Finding a therapist can be hard. If you are autistic or neurodivergent (ND), it can feel even harder. You might wonder if your therapist will understand you, support you, or judge you. That’s why it’s so important to find someone who is neurodiversity-affirming.

What does neurodiversity-affirming mean? A neurodiversity-affirming therapist accepts and supports brain differences like autism, ADHD, and more. They don’t see your brain as broken or something to be fixed. Instead, they see your strengths, your needs, and your full humanity. They help you build confidence and find ways to feel safe, understood, and empowered.

Why does it matter? Many autistic people say that therapy hasn’t always felt safe or helpful. Some therapists don’t understand sensory needs, communication differences, or how trauma may look different in ND people. This can make people feel judged or ignored.

In one study (Pappagianopoulos et al., 2024), autistic adults said they often had to teach their therapist about autism. They wanted someone who truly “got it” and made space for their voice. They asked for therapy that was clear, honest, and focused on real goals, not trying to make them “act neurotypical.”

Another study (Heselton et al., 2022) found that autistic adults who faced hard times growing up often became more resilient when they had support, safety, and people who helped them feel accepted. This kind of growth takes a trusting relationship, which starts with a therapist who listens and affirms who you are.

Why ND therapists can be a great fit. Research shows that neurotypical people often judge ND people more harshly, not because of what they say, but how they say it. In one study (Sasson et al., 2017), people made negative snap judgments about autistic folks just from a few seconds of video. But when they read the same content without seeing or hearing the person, the judgment disappeared. This tells us that bias often comes from how ND people move or speak, not from what they have to say.

Another study (Alkhaldi et al., 2019) found that when people couldn’t easily “read” autistic body language or emotions, they rated them less favorably, even if they were kind and respectful. This shows that ND people may be misunderstood through no fault of their own.

That’s why ND therapists, or therapists trained in ND-affirming care, can be such a great fit. They are more likely to understand these differences, and less likely to make assumptions or try to change who you are.

How to find the right fit. Here are some things you can ask or look for when searching for a therapist:

• Do they mention being ND-affirming or working with autistic clients?
• Do they talk about supporting identity, not changing behavior to “fit in”?
• Are they open to different ways of communicating or thinking?
• Do you feel heard and respected during your first meeting?
• Are they neurodivergent themselves, or do they openly affirm that ND clients may prefer ND therapists?

It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to take your time. You deserve a therapist who makes you feel safe, seen, and supported.

If you’re not sure where to start or need help finding someone, feel free to reach out. I currently have space for 2–3 new clients and would be happy to explore if we’re a good fit, or help connect you with an ND-affirming therapist in your area. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

You are not alone. Being ND doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means your brain works differently. Therapy should be a place where that difference is welcomed. With the right support, you can explore who you are, heal from what’s hurt you, and build a life that fits you.

References

Alkhaldi, R.S., Sheppard, E. & Mitchell, P. (2019). Is there a link between autistic people being perceived unfavorably and having a mind that is difficult to read?. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders 49, 3973–3982 . https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-019-04101-1 

Heselton, G. A., Rempel, G. R., & Nicholas, D. B. (2022). ‘Realizing the problem wasn’t necessarily me’: the meaning of childhood adversity and resilience in the lives of autistic adults. International Journal of Qualitative Studies on Health and Well-being, 17(1). https://doi-org.csu.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/17482631.2022.2051237

Pappagianopoulos, J., Brunt, S., Smith, J. V., Menezes, M., Howard, M., Sadilova, E., Burroughs, C., & Mazurek, M. O. (2024). ‘Therapy through the lens of autism’: Qualitative exploration of autistic adults’ therapy experiences. Counseling and Psychotherapy Research, 25:e12861. https://doi.org/10.1002/capr.12861

Sasson, N., Faso, D., Nugent, J., Lovell, S. Kennedy, D. P., & Grossman, R. B. (2017) Neurotypical peers are less willing to interact with those with autism based on thin slice judgments. Scientific Reports 7, 40700. https://doi.org/10.1038/srep40700